11. Monday

You are sitting in your comfortable chair. Legs nicely comfortably stretched, you think this is how you would define relaxing. It is comfortably cool. With the lines of the book through which your eyes walk through, you feel almost in heaven. The breeze from your garden blows nicely cool onto your face, you take your eyes away from your book for a very brief moment, take a deep breath. You can feel the air getting inside your lungs, filling you with a very sudden feeling of being born all over again. You stretch your legs full length, rest the book on your chest and stretch your arms above your head and take a lazy look around. Then it starts drizzling. Gentle shower, gentle shower, falling slowly down. Your music player set to random play chooses the next song randomly. You know this song. Oh yes, this song. You must have listened to this song a million times before. You must have lived many a million moments of your life with this song. You must have lived many a million moments of your life through this song. This song has been through you. But you have not listened to this song in the recent years. You have almost forgotten the song. Oh yes, this same very song. The tune that filled your soul for a considerable length of your life. The song starts playing. More time flows into the song, the more the song flows into your time, you start seeing things inside your mind. A rewind of a long stretch of your life starts playing inside your mind. Like a movie. A song such, a tune such has scenes from your life etched all over it. A song such, a tune such invokes a barrage of images from your past, inside your mind. The movie has begun and there is no stopping it. You are suddenly transported from inside to another world, a world that was, a world that you have lived through, a world that is so gone away. You are here, physically, but from inside you already have been transported to somewhere else in time, in the past. You see it all inside you, neat, loud and clear. You are more playful wherever you see yourself inside your mind. You are free. You are not what you are now. Slowly starts a tear drop from your left eye. It rolls down your left cheek. You are surprised at the birth of this tear drop. Then start another tear drop from the right and before you know there are streams flowing down your eyes. Your lips twitch uncontrollably and you think the way your lips twitch should really look ugly, but you do not care. You want to see yourself crying and so you walk to the mirror and take a look at yourself. The man in the mirror looks so different and so difficult to control. As you keep watching him, he doesn’t stop. He goes on crying. Oh my god, I haven’t cried in years now, you think to yourself. You do not feel sorry that you are crying. You are not crying because you are feeling bad. You are not feeling bad because you are crying. But you cry. The song plays on and then it ends, then you put your music player in repeat mode. The song plays over and over again and you go on crying uncontrollably. You do not want to control yourself. You do not want to be controlled. You thank the cosmic conspiracy that let you be alone this very moment. Inside, in that world where you are at this moment, you are playing happily. You are jumping around. You are singing songs. There inside you do not remember the man that you are at this moment when you cry. Here this moment now, all that you remember is that one moment that you are living inside yourself. That song started it all. You splash some water on your face after some time of joyous crying and then get back to your comfortable chair. The lines of your book do not interest you any more. You carefully leave your book mark on that page and keep it aside. You get inside your room. You switch off the lights. You do not like the light any more. You lie down on your bed and you try to search through your ceiling for the reason why you cried. You get no answers. The song plays on. The movie continues inside your mind. And you do not know when you fall asleep.