Dmitri, 172.19.251.29

(Dmitri gets a phone call...)

Dmitri: "Hello!"
Other End: "Good Morning Sir! And congratulations!"
Dmitri: "Uh, Thank you... Err... What would that be for?"
Other End: "This is Rmitri, from the computer corporation. Every 100 years we select one lucky person at random and assign him/her a static IP address!"
Dmitri: "What? Static IP address? Why would I need a static IP address?"
Rmitri: "Sir, this is something you should be very proud of! Imagine owning a static IP address for yourself!"
Dmitri: "No, no, no... You cannot assign a static IP to me... I am a human being!"
Rmitri: "Oh, we can assign a dynamic IP for you. We do accommodate special requests! But that would cost you a bit!"
Dmitri: "You must be joking!"
Rmitri: "Sir, do not tell me you were expecting a dynamic IP free of charge..."
Dmitri: "Duh, no... I do not want an IP for myself at all - static or dynamic!"
Rmitri: "You must be joking, sir!"
Dmitri: "No, I am not! Have you assigned static IPs to any other human being before?"
Rmitri: "No sir. You are the first. This scheme was introduced only yesterday!"
Dmitri: "And I am the first victim, am I not?"
Rmitri: "Say not victim sir, you are the lucky one! And by the way your voice strangely sounds like that of someone whose name should be Dmitri!"
Dmitri: "Yes, I am Dmitri!"
Rmitri: "That is alright sir! You being Dmitri or not has nothing to do with this! What is more astonishing is, your voice sounds like that of a Dmitri!"
Dmitri: "But I am a Dmitri..."
Rmitri: "That is irrelevant to what we are talking about your voice. Not who are what or why you are. We assign static IPs or dynamic IPs on a paid request. We do not usually do existential consultation, you know..."
Dmitri: "This must be some kind of joke..."
Rmitri: "Not at all sir. Have a good day. We congratulate you once again! We'll intimate you son on the static IP assigned to you! Have a great life ahead, with the static IP!"
Dmitri: "I must be spider man, if that was true!"